Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Reservation - 6

Here is a humourous article on reservation. If you read it carefully, you'll realize that reservation doesn't actually help the OBCs. It just makes them more dependent and handicapped.

Some Unreserved Thoughts on Reservation

I cant understand why there is a hue and cry over the latest reservation move. Our extremely aged and revered leader Arjunji has got such a bright idea. One must appreciate that it is very, very difficult to get bright ideas, in the advanced geriatric age group. Indeed, first of all, we should applaud him for his great SACRIFICE. Just like his leader, Soniaji, who has innumerable sacrifices to her credit, he has sacrificed the pleasures of old age and playing with great-grandchildren, in order to take up the profitless burden of ministership. And now he has hit upon this idea which will make him IMMORTAL! How can we grudge that; after all, if he misses this bus, I can't see many, many buses in the remaining life-span. Mr. VP Singh attained immortality by this route. He had an opportunity to become famous for other worthy deeds, but he wisely chose Mandalisation. How can we refuse Arjunji the same opportunity?

After all, what's wrong with reservation? If unreserved people feel squeezed out, and they start protesting (so uncivilized and undemocratic!), then, simply increase the total number of seats. Let there be 500 students in every classroom! Let India be a shining example to the world of mass higher education. If there is no physical space in the classroom, the reserved candidates of course must have the privilege of not attending classes. A certificate that a person was alive throughout the academic session should be enough to acquire the degree. Some stupid people suggest that the government should have taken positive steps for the upliftment of the downtrodden, rather than sedate and handicap them with quotas. The backward should have been given high class school education at govt cost. All deserving backward students should be given freeships, scholarships and very liberal financial aid, in order to promote progress, etc. What nonsense! If the backward people had progressed, who would have elected the current crop of our leaders? The backward are the backbone of Indian democracy. They have to be preserved and nurtured in their pristine state, in order to maintain the down-to-earth (or lower) quality of our leadership. Indeed, it is the pride of Indian Democracy! The quality of people who get elected to the legislatures and Parliament, and the colourful way in which they debate weighty issues, its fantastic! In short, backwardness is an institution which must be preserved and protected, and reservation is best obvious tool to achieve this goal.

Some other unintelligent, probably uneducated people, like Mr. Sam Pitroda suggested that the whole policy of reservation needs a rethink, and there are better things to be done than dishing out quotas. They say that our founding fathers including Shri Ambedkar had mooted reservations as a temporary, time-bound arrangement to square up things and now it has outlived its projected life span. What nonsense. I am sure that Babasaheb's spirit communicates daily with Arjunji and all other leaders in their dreams and hallucinations and has clearly told them that reservation was supposed to be a permanent feature, and the quota was supposed to be increased progressively by 5% every year after independence. As soon as the figure exceeds 100%, we must insist on reservations in neighbouring countries. Some neighbours of mine on the left side of our house suggested that if we want to indulge in trade with USA, we must force them to accept reservations, and apply them to visa permits also. Such are the noble thoughts. May the numbers and the varieties of the backward ever go on increasing, and may backwardness never face the hreat of extinction.

Some of my Doctor friends are wondering why Arjunji is after Medical and Engineering seats. Doctors earn nothing compared to the labour they put in.The real earning is with filmstars, cricketers, sportsmen, TV and fashionindustry. If Arjunji is really interested in the welfare of the reserved, he should not force them into becoming doctors. They'll probably curse him. He should impose hefty quotas in all films, TV serials, all sports. I am told that the Coach of the Indian cricket team is paid very, very well. It should forthwith be declared a reserved post. Quotas in such areas only will give the reserved access to the real treasures of India. At the moment, politics is the only real avenue for them.

One last thought. Why are we worrying soooo much? Solutions for all the problems of India are safely and lovingly locked away in the infinite, ocean-like benevolent mind of the most pity-full, most loving and ever self-sacrificing patron Goddess of the Indian Nation, the most holy and noble Soniaji! Why should we worry when she is around? It is only a matter of Mahurat. The astrologers are waiting for the right alignment of the planets. At the right time, Arjunji, Manmohanji and other such saints have to march to the Heavenly residence, prostrate themselves before the Almighty Goddess, and beseech her to utter the Golden Words. And when She Speaketh, Voila! Mama Mia! The problem will vanish into thin air! There will be dancing and rejoicing in the Central Hall, and everyone will live happily thereafter!

Disclaimer
The above is a figment of imagination. Any character resembling any person living, dying, or dead, must be a divine co-incidence, totally unintended, and un-engineered.

Source: Forwarded Email.

I am not against OBCs, I am against reservation.

Reservation - 5 .... Congress will pay

I am not against OBCs, I am against reservation.

Reservation (Not A) Joke - 4

The following is reportedly a copy of the post on IIT Kharagpur's bulletin board.

Message:
They made me feel low.

I belong to OBC class. I am from a place where discrimination based on caste was very common. I grew hearing I am inferior because I am from back ward class. I had regretted in my childhood why was I born in backward class.

When my friends used to tease me on my caste my ma (mother) used to tell me only way to make you friends mouth shut is to study well and top in the class. I took this idea seriously and channelized my frustration towards my studies. There was a big change in me I started working very hard and transformed me from a poor performer of the class to the district 2nd topper of X exam 1996 supaul. After that performance also some of my racist friends disparaged my success by saying, I must have some connection with the govt of Bihar. Since the then cm of Bihar belongs to my caste. I was very disappointed not by the disparagement by my friends but by thinking why I belonged to my class.

Then I started preparing very hard to prove that my performance of X was genuine. I worked real hard and got through IIT JEE 2000. I got a place in B-Tech chemical engg at IIT KGP. I was apprehensive about-facing the same experience here also. But I was surprised when no body asked me my caste there. I was surprised from the environment there. No body really cared which cast I belonged to. No body at iit ever care from which religion or which cast one belongs to. Feeling of equality was for the first time felt by me there. I feel no place on the earth will be as secular and as racism free as iit

Slowly my feeling of inferiority because of my class started fading away. I started believing in equality of human. I started loving people not based on their cast but based on their ideas. I forgot all the discrimination. I feel proud of living in such a great environment. This place not only made me grow technically but also socially. I am real secular I dont only say it but also feel it.

But when one start feeling good about something in life god takes it away. Before this announcement of reservations I had started believing that India is growing not only economically but also socially.

I was feeling freedom from boundaries of caste and creed. But suddenly our leaders asked me to feel that I am a backward. They made me remember my childhood days. Now it has become difficult for me to feel same as I felt before this announcement.

I am really worried for my alma mater. I feel our leaders are going to spoil the haven on earth for their own benefit. I would like to suggest one thing if all the leaders will be sent to iits then only they can know the real meaning of secularism what they keep on trumpeting around. I will not mind if some of the seats of iit will be given to our leaders to make them understand the real meaning of secularism.

But now I am sure once they make reservations mandatory for admissions in institutes it will replace the equality with the hatred and discrimination.

I urge our leaders dont do this to us. Our generation has changed. Please dont separate us on the basis of our birth. Over which no one has any control. We have started believing in equality, hard work and dedication for success. Please dont break our faith.

It will really spoil the unity of our nation. Please let the new generation of India live in a world where ideas matter not the birth class.

I am not against OBCs, I am against reservation.

Reservation Jokes - 3

Life After 10 years (Effects of Reservation)

Sun is rising as usual in the east .I am standing here outside the school,waiting for my 10 yr kid. He studies in class 2. Only this year he could get admission into the school. For the last 5 yrs admissions were closed for thegeneral category students.

School bell rings. I can see a lot of happy children coming out of the gate, Iwaited for half an hour and my kid came at last after other children. General students are not allowed to cross the gate unless other OBC/SC/ST students havecrossed the gates.

OBC/SC/ST fathers drive away their children in classy cars. But I have to walkback home with my kid a 5km stretch. I lost my car some years back whenGovt. came with a rule that general people have to deposit a tax equal to costof their cars. Failing which I had to sell the car.

As far as buses are concerned, the seats in buses are reserved for OBC/SC/ST. So no place there also. After walking some 5km in scorching heat I finallyreached home.

It was Wednesday … shit no electricity. Every Mon, wed, Thu, sat is power cutin the houses of General category population So that SC/ST/OBC can beuplifted by providing them with every opportunity and in that considerationelectricity is an important factor.

Its 10:00 pm in night no electricity at home. It’s very hot inside the fourwalls of home .So I dare to step out in park with my wife and kid.

I seated myself with my family on a secluded bench in garden. It was hardly 5min. a guard came to us strolling in the park. He asked me what caste you belong to. I said with some hesitation. G..General. He asked me to pay a fineof Rs.200 and get out of the park. My Fault… The bench I was sitting on was meant for again the SC/ST/OBC . For their upliftment peace of mind is onessential things. So Government came with this decision to reserve benches forthem. Kudos to them…

Its early in the morning …the newspaperwala just knocked the door. I took the newspaper and started reading. Its independence day . I never used to forget this days some 20 yrs back. My kid hardly knows what 15th august is, because I never told him any stories of greatness of our country or anythingrelated to country. I don"t feel like telling him the failures after freedom.

On front page of newspaper, in a corner their is a news about a OBC member getting 6 months imprisonment in "BAL SUDHAR GRAHA" from a juvenile courtfor murdering and raping a six year old girl. Yes the rules have been amended, since the last 5 years. The Culprit was a 25 year old OBC, so age relaxation was provided for trial of crime. So he was taken to juvenile court, since there is an age relaxation for OBC/SC/ST.

About 11 am some one gave me the BAD news about demise of one of my neighborand friend Mr. Mehta. I went to his house for condolence next day, his body was lying there still rotting in the heat. I asked his son about the Cremation .His son told me "Many reserved category have died yesterday so we are not getting entry to cremation ground”. This rule is the latest from Government where the seats in cremation ground will be reserved for SC/ST/OBC for their upliftment.

Finally next day Mehta-ji was cremated could see sun setting through the Flames burning a liberated Body, liberated from caste and creed. I was surprised sun still sets in the west?

it was about 9 pm , I was about to sleep in my bed my son came to me with innocence in his eyes , inquisitively he asked me the question what is reservation? I asked him where you listened that he suddenly burst in tears… I asked him tokeep quite. But I could listen through his sobs "mujhe bhi reservation chahiye(I too want reservation)".

How can I convince him it’s no other toy in the market I can get for him?

He kept crying that night, claiming many of "his classmates have gotreservation". To make him quiet I said ok; ill buy you reservation at your next B"day.

HOPE he understands the bloody concept soon. Bye Bye India !!

Source: Email forward.

I am not against OBCs, I am against reservation.

Reservation Jokes - 2

A man is caught in a traffic jam, when suddenly someone taps on the window of his car. He lowers the window and asked what he wants.

The man says, "Arjun Singh is kidnapped and the ransom is 50 million dollars. If the ransom is not paid, the kidnappers have threatened to douse him with Petrol and set him on fire.

We are taking up a collection, do you wish to contribute?" The man in the car asks, "On an average what are people donating?"

The other man replies, "About 5 to 10 liters….!!

I am not against OBCs, I am against reservation.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Reservation Jokes - 1

Here are some Arjun Singh jokes to make you smile.

Qs 1. What is an Arjun Singh sale?
Ans. 49.5% off.

Qs 2. Which is Arjun Singh's favorite city?
Ans. Kota.

Qs 3. Why doesn't Arjun Singh have too many friends?
Ans. Because he is 'reserved' by nature.

Qs 4. Why did Arjun Singh learn Arabic?
Ans. So that he could read 'backwards'.

Qs 5. Arjun Singh was made the Law Minister. He zapped everyone by creating another Supreme Court. He called it the Supreme Tribunal. What was his logic?
Ans. For every SC, there should be an ST.

Qs 6. If Arjun Singh were to make a career in films, which job would he opt for?
Ans. Choosing the cast(e).

Qs 7. If Arjun Singh owned a movie theater, what would the Balcony be called?
Ans. Backward class.

Qs 8. If Arjun Singh were a historian, how would he divide Time?
Ans. AD, BC, and OBC.

I am not against OBCs, I am against reservation.