Reservation - 6

Here is a humourous article on reservation. If you read it carefully, you'll realize that reservation doesn't actually help the OBCs. It just makes them more dependent and handicapped.

Some Unreserved Thoughts on Reservation

I cant understand why there is a hue and cry over the latest reservation move. Our extremely aged and revered leader Arjunji has got such a bright idea. One must appreciate that it is very, very difficult to get bright ideas, in the advanced geriatric age group. Indeed, first of all, we should applaud him for his great SACRIFICE. Just like his leader, Soniaji, who has innumerable sacrifices to her credit, he has sacrificed the pleasures of old age and playing with great-grandchildren, in order to take up the profitless burden of ministership. And now he has hit upon this idea which will make him IMMORTAL! How can we grudge that; after all, if he misses this bus, I can't see many, many buses in the remaining life-span. Mr. VP Singh attained immortality by this route. He had an opportunity to become famous for other worthy deeds, but he wisely chose Mandalisation. How can we refuse Arjunji the same opportunity?

After all, what's wrong with reservation? If unreserved people feel squeezed out, and they start protesting (so uncivilized and undemocratic!), then, simply increase the total number of seats. Let there be 500 students in every classroom! Let India be a shining example to the world of mass higher education. If there is no physical space in the classroom, the reserved candidates of course must have the privilege of not attending classes. A certificate that a person was alive throughout the academic session should be enough to acquire the degree. Some stupid people suggest that the government should have taken positive steps for the upliftment of the downtrodden, rather than sedate and handicap them with quotas. The backward should have been given high class school education at govt cost. All deserving backward students should be given freeships, scholarships and very liberal financial aid, in order to promote progress, etc. What nonsense! If the backward people had progressed, who would have elected the current crop of our leaders? The backward are the backbone of Indian democracy. They have to be preserved and nurtured in their pristine state, in order to maintain the down-to-earth (or lower) quality of our leadership. Indeed, it is the pride of Indian Democracy! The quality of people who get elected to the legislatures and Parliament, and the colourful way in which they debate weighty issues, its fantastic! In short, backwardness is an institution which must be preserved and protected, and reservation is best obvious tool to achieve this goal.

Some other unintelligent, probably uneducated people, like Mr. Sam Pitroda suggested that the whole policy of reservation needs a rethink, and there are better things to be done than dishing out quotas. They say that our founding fathers including Shri Ambedkar had mooted reservations as a temporary, time-bound arrangement to square up things and now it has outlived its projected life span. What nonsense. I am sure that Babasaheb's spirit communicates daily with Arjunji and all other leaders in their dreams and hallucinations and has clearly told them that reservation was supposed to be a permanent feature, and the quota was supposed to be increased progressively by 5% every year after independence. As soon as the figure exceeds 100%, we must insist on reservations in neighbouring countries. Some neighbours of mine on the left side of our house suggested that if we want to indulge in trade with USA, we must force them to accept reservations, and apply them to visa permits also. Such are the noble thoughts. May the numbers and the varieties of the backward ever go on increasing, and may backwardness never face the hreat of extinction.

Some of my Doctor friends are wondering why Arjunji is after Medical and Engineering seats. Doctors earn nothing compared to the labour they put in.The real earning is with filmstars, cricketers, sportsmen, TV and fashionindustry. If Arjunji is really interested in the welfare of the reserved, he should not force them into becoming doctors. They'll probably curse him. He should impose hefty quotas in all films, TV serials, all sports. I am told that the Coach of the Indian cricket team is paid very, very well. It should forthwith be declared a reserved post. Quotas in such areas only will give the reserved access to the real treasures of India. At the moment, politics is the only real avenue for them.

One last thought. Why are we worrying soooo much? Solutions for all the problems of India are safely and lovingly locked away in the infinite, ocean-like benevolent mind of the most pity-full, most loving and ever self-sacrificing patron Goddess of the Indian Nation, the most holy and noble Soniaji! Why should we worry when she is around? It is only a matter of Mahurat. The astrologers are waiting for the right alignment of the planets. At the right time, Arjunji, Manmohanji and other such saints have to march to the Heavenly residence, prostrate themselves before the Almighty Goddess, and beseech her to utter the Golden Words. And when She Speaketh, Voila! Mama Mia! The problem will vanish into thin air! There will be dancing and rejoicing in the Central Hall, and everyone will live happily thereafter!

Disclaimer
The above is a figment of imagination. Any character resembling any person living, dying, or dead, must be a divine co-incidence, totally unintended, and un-engineered.

Source: Forwarded Email.

I am not against OBCs, I am against reservation.